Watched Biggest Loser again on Tuesday, and THANK GOD, Joelle finally left (she's an annoying contestant.) She managed to lose... 0 pounds in the 5th week.

Anyway, the best thing I heard that night was one contestant that said that she needs to love her body more than she loves food. And that she knew that meant she'd need to love her body a lot, since she really loved food.

I totally agree that I need to learn that as well. I KNOW that my body feels much better when I eat healthy... and that it really doesn't like it when I eat poorly (especially my digestive system).

And really, there are foods that are good for me and taste good. Like water. But today I really wanted a Coke. So I got one. I want another one now, but I'm going to get some water and see if that will satisfy me.

I also know that eating breakfast really sets me up for eating better the entire day. So I'll need to work on that as well.

Success begets success. Failure begets failure. Abraham begat Isaac; and Isaac begat Jacob; and Jacob begat Judas and his brethren... never mind.

When I was doing well on the diet, I was doing well. I was losing weight, I was preparing the night before, I was eating when I was supposed to.

One weekend as Manager on Duty with less access to healthy foods and a hell of a lot of access to bad foods... and I fell off the wagon.

And gained weight. Which, of course, led to frustration and annoyance and loss of iniative. So, I ended January the same weight I began it. Which was not the plan.

But it's a new month, with new goals. Again, I want to lose ten pounds by the end of this month.

More importantly, I want to recognize how much better I feel when I eat well, and how miserable I feel when I choose poorly. At the Super Bowl party yesterday, I got really nasty heartburn, and some lovely diarrhea.

Not what I'm looking for, really.

Wah. I am very sad. Last night, I did the wheat test, deliberately eating something with wheat after not eating any for the last two weeks.

And had a reaction. A bad reaction. Bathroom visits about 20-30 minutes after the tortilla and then again and again for 2-3 more lovely visits to the john.

I don't WANT to be gluten intolerant. It's annoying. It inconveniences others.

Haven't been eating well either this weekend, since it's hard to eat well while at work. And, work has been CRAZY, so I treated myself to M&Ms both nights, and then when I ended up parking cars until 1:30 am, I had some cheetos.

I'm sad.

Yay! Mary's back. And eating well. Glad to see it.

The detox pad things are probably a crock of ... well, what you eliminate when you're detoxing. I'm mainly doing this through food (lots of fruits and veggies) and even more water. Not doing the pill thing so much, although I'm taking lots of vitamins as well.

I watched Biggest Loser again, and exercised the entire two-hour show as well. Just walked in place on the treadmill (since the stupid thing is broke) and even jogged in place for a while. The show is very inspiring. Watching others trying so hard to lose weight, watching them struggle so hard since they were overweight (the 400-lb kid in the kayak was sad since he couldn't keep himself sitting up while using the pedals)... it really makes me want to lose weight.

And there's a real stupid b***h on the show, who barely made it through this week. I want to have more weight loss than she does. She only lost 2 lbs in Week 2, which is what I'm working on now. Hopefully, I'll lose more than 2 lbs, but the scale is not showing that. I need to do more cardio stuff, I think.

Decided to reward myself last night for avoiding sweets. Had this protein smoothie --- banana chocolate --- that tasted better than anything I've ever had in my life. :) Of course, it was 240 a serving, and the bottle had 2 servings. So I stopped at one!

Never been able to do that before. But I know I'll be able to drink the rest later.

I'm trying to appreciate all the food that I eat. Oh, last night, I had the portobello with organic pizza sauce. I topped it with soy cheese. The cheese was the absolute nastiest thing I have ever had in my life. We aren't eating that anymore. I'll go without cheese from now on.

Tonight, I'm going to dinner with my Mom at Mamma Lucia's. I'll test whether or not wheat sets me off. Nothing like pasta to let me know. :)

I felt so much better yesterday after eating a Super Food Salad for lunch (spinach, tomatoes, turkey, beans, broccoli) that it's made me more determined than ever to focus on eating much more nutritionally. Because think of how good I'd feel if I had been eating like that all last week if only one meal could make me feel so energized?

I ate a good lunch today, consisting of turkey breast on high fiber bread, cup of tea, and an orange, but alas, had a donut for breakfast. My cravings for sugar and fat are high right now. Is it the weather?

I plan on eating salmon, brussel sprouts and whole grains for dinner, so, all in all, a good nutritional day.

My clutter busting is coming along. Last night I filled an entire hefty bag with stuff from my chest of drawers and closet. I'm tackling my bookcases tonight, and, if I have energy to spare, my desk. If not, that is tomorrow night.

I'm also planning on re-reading "You on a Diet" because that book really impressed me. I made a lot of notes and marked pages - something I've never done with a diet book before, so, I want to revisit that and do some menu planning. It's become very, very, VERY clear to me that if I don't plan, I'm done for. That's just all there is to it - healthy living/eating doesn't just happen. You have to plan for it.

Cathyoma, I saw these pads you stick on your feet at night that are supposed to help detoxify you! They were at WalMart. Hmmmm....

Well, I should find out shortly if milk is a problem. They had Tortilla soup today, which I absolutely adore, and is almost acceptable on the diet: beans, tomatoes, and chicken. The chicken is the technical no-no, although I know it's not chicken that upsets my stomach, so I went ahead and enjoyed it.

I was in the middle of my first bowl when I realized that it really tasted yummy... in fact, oops. I called to find out if it had any milk in it and the kitchen eventually got back to me to say, yes, it has heavy cream in it.

No wonder it tastes so yummy. I decided to use it as a test, since there wasn't wheat in it. I went ahead and had three bowls of it (they are small bowls, and it's all I had for lunch).

So, let's see if my stomach rebels. The lack of a response doesn't necessarily mean I'm okay. As part of this detox plan, I am taking enzyme tablets, so perhaps it'll negate any bad reactions.

I should have had more salad with lunch, and less soup.

I just read an article about weight loss, and it discusses setting goals in writing. So, here goes:

1) Lose 30 lbs by June when the German relatives show up. Ideally, I'd prefer to have it be 50 lbs, but I'll be reasonable.
2) More immediately, lose 10 lbs during January. I'm halfway there.
3) Continue to blog almost daily.
4) Lose 60 lbs by the end of the year.
5) Exercise 4x a week.
6) Drink 8 glasses of water a day.

Hmm... I'll come back to this when I'm more motivated and add rewards for acheiving goals.

As I said in a post or so ago, it's a lot harder to do this diet when you're not getting the affirmation from the scale. :(

I'm stuck now back at 225 and sad. But I know there's reasons. No. 1, my pee was dark yellow this morning. I'm not drinking the water as much at all, especially at the house.

Also... there's honey. I bought some this weekend, and yesterday came home and spread it on the unsweetened banana chips I had. Kinda defeats the purpose there. Dinner was then just the banana chips and honey, and then a big batch of potatoes. No veggies and too much sugar.

So. I need to get back on eating healthier dinners. Tonight is the tofu noodles with spaghetti sauce, and I'll need to add some squash to that and also a salad.

Not sure what I'm having for lunch, probably the lentil soup and a salad. Breakfast is the banana chips (no honey this time), an apple, a banana, and some apple sauce.

And I'm not exercising. Tonight is Biggest Loser, so I'll exercise while I watch that, I know.

I've been ignoring this blog because I've been depressed, bitter, and eating like a fiend. :(

I managed to not allow the setback to make me get off the diet. Plus I didn't allow a fight with my mother to set me back either (we've since made up.)

Was 224 today, so I lost 6 lbs in a week. I can accept that. :)

Need to do my cardio workout, but don't have time before the party I'm going to. In fact, that would be my next temptation. I knew that I was going to this party and that I was going to allow it to be my once-a-week meat time. Laura only makes the posole and the tamales once a year for this party, so I don't want to miss that.

I'm going to take some advice I read though, and eat before going to the party. I had the rest of the salad from Whole Foods, and will have some soup as well.

Darn, I wish I had thought to check for soy cheese at the Whole Foods. Darn darn darn.